PERSPECTIVES

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I was fortunate to spend some quality time with mom the week before she passed. The best moment was an evening I ordered dinner in and, much to her dismay, forgot to order her vanilla milkshake. After a short text exchange, Grant,  her  grandson,   saved the day by delivering a milkshake in minutes.

I have never seen Mom enjoy something quite so much. In that instant, with a brightened smile and a sparkle in her eye, she began devouring the mouth-watering goodness with the energy of a excited child. It was like she was experiencing it for the first time. And after a lot of slurps and few giggles, the shake was nearly gone and she was happy once again. In that moment, it dawned on me that Mom, in every way, would drink in what she was doing in the moment, and enjoy every drop of life.

Mom's request for no service or memorial has been a bit tough on all of us. Although we're respecting her wish in the grand scheme of things, I do have one request. I'd love for you to raise a glass to Mom (maybe one with whipped cream and a cherry on top) and really enjoy it - slurp it, savor it, save the cherry for last - and drink in life at that very moment, just like Mom  did.

 We had the same mom. Different dads. But the word “half” sister never came into play. We were sisters. And, sisters understand each other because they share the same roots. Sisters are always there to care for and support each other…..two branches that have grown from the same family tree. They share the history and stories of where their lives came from. There was no one in the world like my sister Mary.

She was my sister and my friend. Grateful that she was always there to speak to if I needed advice, opinions, a recipe, or to just shoot the breeze, often times for hours. Even though we sometimes disagreed, nothing could keep us apart. Her smile and laughter were a comfort to me. And laughter was the very foundation of our relationship. We laughed at everything! Only Mary could understand what was so very funny. 

We could be shopping and find humor in the way a clerk talked to us while we were checking out. Or, when our mom passed away, we had to ride in a golf cart at the cemetery to choose a burial site. The situation was very emotional but the ride in the golf cart made us laugh. When Mary’s son Mark got married, we were the last two to go to bed that night. Sat out by the hotel pool telling stories, laughing, drinking wine until almost daybreak. No one was game enough to stay up with us. Not even our brother Carl. One time we were driving to a store in her new Cadillac. She misjudged a turn when pulling up to get her parking ticket out of the machine and took off the side mirror. We laughed so hard we almost wet our pants! When my house was undergoing remodel several years ago, she spent time helping me find new lighting. We picked out a good-sized light for the dining room because it was a good-sized space to fill. The contractor knowing Sis lived in Texas said, “Boy they sure make ‘em big in Texas, don’t they?” We laughed and remembered that forever.  Whenever we saw each other at the airport for the first time after deplaning we started giggling.  And……whenever we were together it was as though we were on a brand-new adventure. We laughed constantly and found humor in things that only we understood. 

I am struggling to remember that if I pick up the phone to call her, she won’t be there to answer and laugh with. Going to take some time to process that. My wish is that you try not to be sad, but rather celebrate Mary and the special relationship you shared or laughs that you shared with her. Laughter is the music of the soul.